Dirdy Lil

Guess who got a girl

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 04:06:55 GMT

Lil (7:28:25 PM): I've had a crazy crazy couple days
Andi (7:28:34 PM): Me too. You go first.
Lil (7:29:23 PM): I had a date with a girl last night. (keeping in mind I've never gotten past kissing with a girl before) I slept over and me and her and her boyfriend had much naked shnoogling and smooching and groping and I got like 4 hours sleep
Andi (7:30:22 PM): Awwwww... cute!
Lil (7:30:22 PM): She's now gone from "my admirer" to potentially "my girlfriend"
Andi (7:30:25 PM): No Blink?
Lil (7:30:52 PM): No, but there were permissions all around beforehand
Andi (7:31:35 PM): Yes, yes. I assumed. :-) I know you're good.
Lil (7:31:39 PM): hee
Lil (7:31:50 PM): Such fun. Oh god I'm tired
Andi (7:32:02 PM): Oh, good. That's really great.
Andi (7:32:06 PM): I am also tired.
Lil (7:32:07 PM): I made out with a girl! *hops*
...
Lil (7:37:43 PM): If it makes you feel any better, you were the first person I wanted to tell all about my date, after Blink
Andi (7:37:48 PM): AWWWWW
Andi (7:37:53 PM): You're lovely.
Andi (7:38:12 PM): I am very proud of you for getting some hot threeway action and hooking it up with a girl!
Lil (7:38:21 PM): hee! <3 !
Lil (7:38:31 PM): *loves*
Andi (7:38:42 PM): :-)
Lil (7:39:50 PM): I actually avoided touching boy parts, as the rules on extra-marital boyness are undecided, but me and him played tag team licking her. it was fun. And when I kissed her goodbye this morning, he high fived me, all "bye tag team!"
Andi (7:40:10 PM): Awww. haha.

--

So yes. The girl in question, who I shall call Doe Eyes, because she has big eyes, was very flirty when I first met her a month ago. She's very skinny and cute, and we went out to a bar with mutual friends. First there was karaoke, and she enjoyed my singing, and then she asked me to dance. We went down to the club and grinded together (which I didn't take to be too unusual, since it's pretty common at that bar. Gay boys grind with me; therefore it means nothing), but she did other things as well: brushing my hair out of my eyes, holding my hand, etc. But I felt guilty when she tried to kiss me goodnight, because I hadn't told her I'm married.

We had a lot of trouble getting together since then (oh man she has a busy schedule) but last night we managed to be in the same place at the same time. When I called to confirm, she said her boyfriend (the Trickster) was with her, and "should I get rid of him?" I said no, because I didn't want to seem too forward. Haha.

We went for coffee, talked about mundane things, debated between going to the local gay and lesbian center to watch Queer as Folk or going to her place to watch her new hentai tape (a sample from a friend who sells them illegally). We decided on hentai. First F3 about a girl who can't orgasm no matter how hard she tries, and all her female friends help her. (Eventually she grows a penis and rapes them.) Then Darling, about a porn manga writer who has to write a huge anthology in a month, and his wife helps him stay in Super Erection Mode by blowing him and wearing costumes. We laughed a lot and got horny-squirmy during the shows, and ate spaghetti. We also snuggled together on the couch. Doe Eyes laid me back in her lap and laughingly said "I have a twenty-three year old married woman in my lap, and my bisexual boyfriend kissing my neck."

I asked them if they were open to extra relationships (they didn't know the word polyamorous and I had to restate the question) and they said they hadn't discussed it. But she said I was special compared to other girls (although I forget the context now) and he asked more than once if he should go home.

We watched Resident Evil sort of, while they made out, and eventually we fell asleep together in her bed (after 1 or 2 AM), and when I woke up again at about 6:00, they were fucking very slowly and quietly. I was facing them and Doe's face was five inches from mine. It took me a second to realize what was going on. Her head was tilted back and her eyes had fluttered shut, and she was making the hottest little quick-breath noises. They both kept looking at me every few minutes, but it was dark and my hair was over my eyes. I found out later that Trickster thought I was awake, and Doe Eyes thought I wasn't. Eventually she whispered something to him and they got up to fuck in the other room, a little more loudly. It lasted a very long time and produced some very suggestive vocalizations. I considered masturbating but didn't want to seem like a big perv.

Afterward Doe Eyes came back in, completely naked now, and got into bed. I grinned stupidly. She said "Miss me?" and I could just nod enthusiastically. We faced each other and she got close to snuggle me. We started stroking each others' backs. That's all we did for a long time. Then she'd move to my hips and sides, and I'd copy her, she'd move to play with my hair and I'd copy her... Eventually I decided it was never going to go very far if she didn't think I was into it, so I gathered my courage and kissed her neck, nibbled a bit, licked by her ear... She said "You're forceful. I like it." We were kissing when the Trickster came back in and watched us. He poutily pretended to be jealous, and we ended up licking opposite sides of her body for a long time, making her shiver and sigh. She said to me "You have a strong tongue." He bragged about his French background and how that automatically gives him a great tongue.

The snuggling and groping went on for a long time, and I was so delighted to make out with her I didn't care about getting off. There were bits of conversations at times, like her asking how big I am (I'm a B cup, she's a C), but I don't remember much of it now, and it doesn't really matter.

I wish she wasn't so busy all the time, and I kinda wish her apartment wasn't so spotless (it makes me want her to never see the messiness of my place) but I'm looking forward to future grindage in public and naked snuggles. I'm now about twenty percent gayer than I was 48 hours ago, seriously. So tired though.

Oh, and I was thinking about how convenient it was that I could just borrow a shirt from her and get to work on time, even though the whole thing was unplanned. If I had a random sleepover at a boy's house, he probably wouldn't have an appropriate formal work shirt for me to wear, girl shaped and in my size. Man, gay affairs are practical!

Skirt and cock pics

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 05:47:42 GMT

Having a cock is hot. =)

http://pics.livejournal.com/dirdylilsecret/gallery/00002hp0

(That would be the double ended dildo I promised pictures of so long ago. Heh.)

drunken slut fantasy

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 20:59:13 GMT

This is the fantasy Blink and I had last night while he fucked me.

--

I went to a gay bar to pick up guys. I'd never done that before. It was terrifying. It turns out it's easier though, if you're drunk and acting slutty. I allowed myself to giggle and cling to this body builder type guy, (so very hot, in tight jeans and a shirt with no sleeves) who was focused on talking about himself to the group he was with. (Those shoulders. I could have watched him all night.) It turned out he has a personal trainer and he does "crowd management" for his job. I think that means he's a bouncer, but it sounds fancier. He wasn't huge or anything, he didn't have those kind of bulging muscles that look like they're about to pop, but he still made me look tiny in comparison.

I laughed at his jokes and randomly touched him, on the arm, the side, until it was clear that he didn't mind a bit, and I inched my way closer as he told funny bar stories until I was leaning against him, our hips together. He put his arm around me as if to hold up an injured friend.

He turned away from the other men he'd been chatting with and leaned in to speak softly in my ear. "What's your name?"

"Jamie."

"Why don't you finish up your drink, Jamie, so we can get out of here?"

We ended up at my place (he insisted it was closer, but maybe he just didn't want me to know where he lives. Or maybe he's married) and we snuck quietly into my bedroom. He forcefully stripped me, pinned me down and unzipped his pants one-handed to push his cock into my mouth. I eagerly sucked and lapped at it, feeling exposed and helpless, until he pulled away to undress himself. He put his arms on either side of me and hovered over me, and pressed our cocks together to make me buck upward and groan, shuddering.

He reached a hand down to stroke me all over, then fingered my ass, slick with lube and way too tight. I squirmed and bent my head back, and twisted around as if to try and get free, but god, too much, don't stop. He sucked my neck and used his free hand to squeeze and pull my cock. Too much sensation, trying to be quiet but oh god, stop. I whispered urgently "Don't - my roommate. Unh! He'll hear..."

He just grinned and kept going. "You want him to hear don't you?"

I shook my head and kept my eyes shut, trying to keep myself under control. It seemed for a moment like he was obeying me. He pulled away and all I could feel was air on my skin, his eyes on me, and my cock twitching with need. But when I felt him again, he was pressing his cock against my ass, trying to gain entrance, and being just as forceful as before. It was too much. He pinned me down by my wrists and thrust once, hard, and then he was inside. "Ah!"

I bit my lip and listened for any movement outside the room. But he just kept going. Oh god, so good, so much. I moaned and tried to hold his hips still with my hands. "Ssh. He'll hear."

"You'd love it. You want him to catch us." He ignored me shaking my head. "He's hot isn't he? You think about him when you jerk off."

I couldn't say no to that, because it was true. I lamely muttered, "well, sort of..."

"Maybe you want me to be the bad guy. He'll burst in here to rescue you, and you'll tell him how I was raping you."

Oh fuck. So hot. I twisted my hips and tried to work myself harder onto his cock. I gasped and thrust upward desperately.

"You'll watch him beat me, and then you'll fall into his arms and cry for him, and he'll hold you like a good dear friend, and you'll rub against him and hump him like a dog, and he'll let you because you've been through so much, you poor thing..."

I couldn't help it. I was going to come. He pistoned into me harder and bit my neck and jaw and shoulder.

"You want that? You want me to rape you, put on a show for your boyfriend? You want him to find you bleeding?"

He slapped my face and held both my wrists above my head with one hand. He hit my chest and bit me as I thrashed around under him and frantically whimpered and moaned. He grabbed my cock and jerked me off and pounded into my ass until I came, hot, onto my own chest. He lost his rhythm and grunted as he came right after me. I could feel his cock throbbing inside me. I opened my eyes and watched his panting, satisfied face.

My roommate was standing in the doorway.

Boyish girls are hawt

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 23:44:56 GMT

So there's this girl. At first glance you might think she's a boy. She's very, very thin, with narrow hips and baggy jeans. The band of her boxers shows sticking out the top. Looney Tunes boxers. Her shirts are small and tight, and her breasts are tiny. She has an androgynous face and geeky glasses. Her hair is very short, dyed blonde, and combed at the front to a little upward point. So I'll call her Tin Tin.

I can imagine myself grabbing her waist and pulling her against me, grinding against her and holding her down. I can imagine her wearing a strap on and insisting on being on top, being far more comfortable fucking me, taking control, treating me like a breakable little girl, and being the man she wishes she was. But it's not about dating, or her personality, or even kissing. It's all about her body. Everything from the neck down. But I digress.

There was this party. I got drunk and danced with a group of friends. I considered her one of that group. Nothing special. No nervous tension or awkward silences. Just me and her and other people dancing.

When I told the story to blinkandmissit later, he said "She flirted with you?" I said no. He said "But you danced with her?" "Yeah." "And you told jokes?" "Yeah." "And she laughed at them?" "...Yeah..." Apparently I've achieved the definition of being hit on without even knowing it.

So there we were, dancing. The rest of the group left the dance floor. She followed, but I stayed and kept swaying and people-watching. A new song started. "Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, sex is a Texas drought." She came back and had to yell in my ear to be heard. "I changed my mind!" And we danced together with no other friends around. We gyrated and swayed to the pounding rhythm and the usually funny but now serious chorus of "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." I kept my eyes on her swinging hips and her belly button and her clumsily hanging arms she didn't seem to know what to do with, and she very intently kept her eyes everywhere but on me.

Later, sitting outside, (she drinks beer right out of the bottle) we were sitting with another guy, who I'll call PermaStudent. He plans to keep going to school forever, get as many PHDs as it takes to never have to actually work. So far he's done theatre studies and anthropology. Tin Tin is going into the sciences. I can't remember what type, or maybe I wasn't really listening. I leaned forward across the table and said to her "I don't know if you know this, but you have like, the perfect body." She nodded and said "Thank you." I said "And I may be a little drunk." She laughed and said "I figured." I said "It's true though." She thanked me again. I gave her a business card and said I had to go or I'd miss the last bus of the night. She tried to convince me to stay and get a cab. It didn't occur to me at the time that the reason might be so she could spend more time with me.

I really need more practice being hit on.

Fetish quiz

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 23:34:59 GMT

Fetish Quiz

(I've crossed out anything totally untrue.)

You prefer mostly males, but some females catch your interest.
You tend to be submissive. This will impact the interpretation of your various sexual interests.
Possibly left over from your ~~childhood experiences~~ is your interest in spanking.
You enjoy the feeling of being slapped, and the burning feeling afterwards.
~~Spanking is not child's play to you. It holds a deep place in your fantasies.~~
~~You enjoy being humiliated.~~ (At least, I don't think I do. Hmmm.)
~~The thought of humiliation strongly appeals to you, though you may not know why.~~
Anal stimulation is a strong source of interest for you.
You enjoy the feeling of someone inserting an object into your rectum --
there are a wide variety of toys you fantasize about, ranging from butt plugs to enemas.
You become aroused when you reveal information about yourself, or perform a sex act in a public or semi-public setting.
The fridge isn't safe when you're around. Fruits and veggies -- provided they are the proper shape and size -- are your tools of sexual fun. Big vats of liquidy food make you quite excited.
Your mouth is a sacred area that houses a variety of sensations and desires for you.
You enjoy having things in your mouth, and you enjoy teasing your tongue with a variety of different stimulation.
You secretly have a desire to have a sexual encounter with someone you don't know, and with whom you don't consent to have sex.
The concept of unwilling partners turns you on.
You tend to enjoy sexual activities in groups, such as threesomes or orgies.
You enjoy urine play. This may include ~~catheter play~~, or one of you urinating on the other
according to your partner's wishes.
Some of your fantasies involve sexual acts with animals.
What else can be said? You enjoy getting yourself off. Don't we all?
You enjoy your sexual partner regulating your breathing. You are turned on when you can not control this most basic human function.

Dominant	(1 out of 5)
Submissive	(4 out of 5)
Voyeurism	(2 out of 6)
Clothing	(0 out of 5)
Feet	(1 out of 4)
Spanking	(4 out of 5)
Bondage	(1 out of 3)
Humiliation	(6 out of 7)
Sensation	(4 out of 8)
Anal	(3 out of 4)
Exhibitionism	(4 out of 5)
Sleep	(4 out of 7)
Medical	(3 out of 7)
Training	(2 out of 4)
Food	(4 out of 4)
Bodyfluids	(4 out of 7)
Roleplaying	(3 out of 6)
Oral	(3 out of 4)
Objects	(2 out of 5)
Strangers	(2 out of 4)
Rape	(4 out of 4)
Groups	(2 out of 3)
Gagging	(1 out of 4)
Watersports	(3 out of 5)
Crushing	(1 out of 5)
Bestiality	(2 out of 3)
Fisting	(0 out of 5)
Finger sucking	(1 out of 4)
Toe sucking	(0 out of 3)
Masturbation	(2 out of 3)
Asphyxiation	(3 out of 4)

Sat, 22 May 2004 20:46:39 GMT

Blink: Aw, this guy had a bachelor party. I never had a bachelor party.
Me: You want one?
...
Me: Can I go?

Q&A - Only one lover

Sat, 08 May 2004 23:28:42 GMT

Smutrocket: I've always kind of wondered.. please don't be insulted.. but for someone so open-minded and experimental about sex, how did it come to be that you've only slept with one person? I know that may sound really dumb, please just humor my curiosity.

It's not dumb. I'm very different from most people in a lot of ways, I know that. I don't think I've ever known a sexually active person my age or older who has only slept with one person. Blinkandmissit and I definitely seem to be in a minority there.

The easy explanation is that I fell in love with him and became monogamous with him before I had opportunities with other people, but that's not all there is to it. I did have opportunities, I could have created opportunities. We pretty much have to go back to when I was thirteen for a proper explanation.

At thirteen, I started being medicated for a life long illness. Nothing life threatening, mostly just a major cause of stress. The medication helped a lot, I was drastically better, but it had side effects, one of which is that it completely stopped my libido from functioning. I had absolutely no interest in sex.

This had several interesting effects itself: 1) I never learned to properly masturbate until years and years later. I do recall humping things before that point, and having sexual fantasies from about grade 4 (age 8?), but the years without a libido very much disrupted my development in that area. 2) I had no sexual interest in men, but I did want relationships in certain ways, and started thinking a lot more about women. I think I believed sex with women would be snuggly and gentle and comprised mostly of kissing and groping and humping. Very non threatening. So I categorized myself as gay and developed crushes on girls I knew.

At fifteen I met Blink and we became very close. We told each other everything, and spent all our free time together. When I switched medications at sixteen, all of a sudden my libido came back full force, and I spent a very frustrating week desperate to get off and unable to figure out how to do it myself. Blink and I had a sleep over, and we were together sexually for the first time. It started slowly, with him rubbing my tummy, and ended up with him masturbating me and me watching him masturbate. It was fantastic, and to this day I consider it my first time.

I gradually taught myself to masturbate to orgasm over the next year or two, but it took much longer to figure out that I really do like men. For a long time I thought I was a lesbian who accidentally fell in love with a man. But no, other men are attractive now.

Anyway, Blink and I were very experimental and open to new things. We were too young to buy a dildo so we used candles; we were too young to buy porn so we found it online, with all the eccentricities that made available: orgies, rape, bondage, pee play. And all the time we avoided having "real sex," because we didn't want to risk pregnancy. There was lots of mutual masturbation and humping.

At one point I met a girl, we'll call her Clock Girl, who was interested in me, and I was interested back. She was butch, with very short hair and baggy sweaters. She was an excellent singer, (although she liked country, which I hated at the time,) and had a sense a quiet mystery. She hardly spoke the first time I was introduced to her. When I went to the room she was renting, I found it covered in writings and drawings she had made, and filled with clocks. Dozens of clocks, all ticking very slightly out of sync with each other, although some were digital, and flashing. She said it helped calm her down. The more clocks there are, the more chance she has of knowing the absolute correct time.

She caused one of the great discoveries of my life: I am willing to reject someone I'm interested in physically for the sake of preserving my relationship with Blink. The whole experience was very stressful. I had never had to choose between two people before. But I knew I would never be happy in a real relationship with someone whose conversations all surrounded past disappointments, and failures, and therapy. Oddly enough, she had the same inability to masturbate as I had had before meeting her. She said she'd been dependent on her ex-girlfriend for that. String Along, the same ex-girlfriend from the following gay dance story: She had waited for Clock Girl to put on a button that said she was involved and not looking to hook up, and then String Along had put a button on herself that said she was single. She had flirted all night and Clock Girl had spent the whole dance alone.

I felt guilty for turning her down, because she'd had things so hard, but I was fairly certain I was doing the right thing. Anyway it would be worse to use her just to experiment and then leave her. She was difficult to get a hold of because the woman she was renting from was rude on the phone and wouldn't leave messages. We soon lost touch.

So I've always been monogamous, back then because I wanted to be, and more recently because I'm either too shy to hit on someone, or I hit on the wrong person. I have a friend, who I'll call Princess, who calls herself gay but keeps sleeping with men. She's thin and outgoing and wears poofy dresses and dances and sings in public. She loves princesses and Sailor Moon and shiny colorful things. She hosts pot lucks and wine and cheese parties.

She has often complained to me about how she doesn't want or like sex, she can't wait for it to be over, but she likes using it to have control over her various boyfriends. She also thinks she likes girls, she thinks being with a girl would be so nice and gentle, but she never looks at girls unless she reminds herself to. She has often said "Oh, look at that guy! He has long hair and a guitar and... oh wait, I like girls." It seems so much like I was when I was on that first medication, except that she's not being medicated.

To make a long story... a little shorter, one of the main reasons I'm so open minded about sex is because of Blink, and there are many reasons I haven't slept with anyone else, not the least of which is that I didn't even want sex for a long time. I hope this answers the question. =)

(Apologies to smutrocket for the nickname idea. Actually, now I want to give Jane a nickname too. But that could take a whole other post.)

I never

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 05:44:53 GMT

Rules: Add an X to the things you've never done, then add your own. (From bonn)

I have never:
( ) been drunk
( ) smoked pot
( ) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) crashed a friend's car
(x) been to japan
( ) ridden in a taxi
( ) had anal sex
( ) been in love
( ) had sex
( ) had sex in public
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) had a threesome
( ) snuck out of my parent's house
( ) been tied up (sexually)
( ) been caught masturbating
( ) pissed on myself
(x) had sex with a member of the same sex *tear!*
(x) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) stole something from my job
(x) celebrated new years in time square
(x) gone on a blind date
( ) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to europe
( ) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
(x) cut myself on purpose
(x) had sex at the office
( ) been married
(x) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(x) traveled out of the country on a last minute decision
(x) had sex with a stranger
(x) fucked a food product

Update (no time, bestiality, double penetration, etc)

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 07:29:46 GMT

Well, it's official. I've dropped off the face of the Earth. Or rather, I've gone through the professional equivalent of dropping off the face of the Earth, which is to say I have some extra work in addition to my regular job. Which is great for my career, not so great for my leisure activities.

Don't worry though, it's not like I'm not having sex. God no. I just don't have time to write about it. Or keep up with my friends list. I love you guys, just don't expect much (or anything at all) from me right now.

I can say though that Blink pointed me to a post on fetishconfess or somewhere about bestiality, and it prompted me to have a dream about a girl ending up in a dog's body (through magic I presume) and then convincing the guy who loved her to have sex with her while she was a dog. Yes, it turned me on. I don't feel quite as ashamed about that as I normally would, since somebody else posted about it first.

Oh, and I was double penetrated recently (husband and dildo). It felt good. Not in the usual orgasmic way, but really nice all the same. It felt like I was pooing and being fucked at the same time, and the fact that that's what I liked further proves Blink's theory that I have a poo fetish. I maintain that it's merely an anal fetish, but who can say?

Anyway, I'll leave you all to ponder the following image: Lissa, standing, naked except for a strap on dildo, holding it at the base and idly rubbing her breast. Jamie, on his knees, enthusiastically sucking and licking the dildo, moaning around it and pulling his own cock. Derry behind, stroking Jamie's body all over, preparing to fuck him, touching his asshole. "Yeah, suck my cock," says Lissa, and Derry grunts as he enters Jamie, who squirms, helpless and in ecstasy.

Wishing you all sexy fantasies and happy nights,
Lil.

Blow job

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 08:24:08 GMT

Oh man. Ok, I used my new two ended dildo differently tonight. I held the big end inside me and wore a pair of Blink's briefs to hold it in place, and stuck the smaller end out of the slit. Blink sucked me off. Oh god that was hot to watch. I also got a handjob. I squeezed down while it pounded quickly inside me, and of course I watched. I so need to take pictures some time. Having a cock is one of the hottest experiences of my life.

Sex in public

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 20:15:01 GMT

I was masturbating last night, and it occurred to me there's a fantasy I've never told you guys about, to my knowledge. Sex in public, or more specifically, sex while being talked to or surrounded by people who don't care that there's sex going on. Sometimes it involves someone who really needs to talk to the people who are fucking, and doesn't wait for them to finish. Sometimes it takes place in a world where sex is seen as a basic necessity, like peeing, that should be taken care of right away, that you can leave class for, that doesn't need to be hidden.

For example, we have a guy and a girl: Jamie and Lissa. They're in the bedroom, him on his back, her slowly rocking back and forth on top of him, squeezing down, having those slow lazy orgasms. In comes a girl who lives with them, who starts putting things away and chattering about random things, as if she isn't aware they're fucking. Occasionally she waits for a response. "Right?" she says. "Don't you think so?" Jamie grunts and says "Uh... yeah." He sighs into Lissa's neck and tries to focus on both women at once.

Other times it takes place in a high school classroom. The teacher is writing notes on the board and asking questions of the students. "Anyone? Does anyone know?" Jamie raises his hand. "Yes Jamie?" "Uh, I have to have sex" he says. "Alright," says the teacher, bored. "Who wants to have sex with Jamie? Raise your hand."

A few people raise their hands. "All right, Lissa, out of your seat, come on." Lissa and Jamie go to the side of the room and he bends her over the teacher's desk. The teacher continues with the lesson as they moan and gasp. "Can anyone tell me how we rearrange the formula in number five?" and Jamie pounds noisily into Lissa. Another student, Derry, watches them and masturbates. He pulls his pants down a bit and leans back and strokes his cock quickly and very visibly. After an answer has been given, the teacher asks him "Does that sound right?" He keeps going and looks at his answer. "Unh. Uh, that's - mmm. That's what I have." "Very good, that's correct." The lesson continues as Derry, Jamie and Lissa all orgasm and shudder and moan. And everyone acts like it's normal.

I don't know why this idea gets to me so much. My clit is all hard right now from thinking about it. I may just have to go do something about that.

Strap on cock

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 07:33:27 GMT

blinkandmissit got me a two-ended dildo and a harness as a surprise, and they arrived today! I thought about it all day at work, and the moment I got home, I tried out my new strap on cock.

It's silicone (way nicer to touch than my old plastic flower patterned vibrator, which doesn't even have a real penis-head shape on the end). Having this new one inside (the big end I mean) and having it rammed into me hard, feels, well, a lot like being fucked (except without having someone on top of me, which is half the fun). The smaller end isn't as good, but still better than the old dildo.

But just wearing it, having it sort of sway as I walk, stroking it, seeing it stick out from my body as if it was part of me (albeit a very oddly colored part of me) is one of the coolest things ever. Man, the number of years I've thought about having a cock. And when I stroke it, or grind against something, or just walk around, I feel the other end moving inside me, so there's a real connection between stroking my cock and feeling erotic sensations. I can't really explain how great that is.

After some hesitation, Blinkandmissit decided we could screw, with me on top. We had some trouble finding an appropriate position, and I couldn't get in at first. But eventually there was a sort of pop, and it slid the rest of the way in easily. And there it was. I was fucking someone. Rocking back and forth, slowly at first, into another person, watching my cock disappear inside. And when Blink said "faster" and grunted and squirmed and clung hard to a pillow, I really felt like we'd switched places. I was giving that kind of pleasure for once, from inside the other person's body. It was fantastic.

It was tiring, being on top, and I couldn't keep up a good rhythm for long, so we fucked in the usual way. After being rammed with the dildo a few times, being frigged a few times, squeezing down hard while doing the fucking, and then getting fucked, I must have cum a total of at least ten times. And then I wore the harness while playing on the internet. Not all that comfortable sitting down, but kinky to idly stroke and fondle. It's sticking straight up from under my schoolgirl skirt as I type this.

Expect a lot on this subject in the future. I will never get tired of this.

Photos: Hat, corset, fishnets, flogger, rope, collar/leash

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 04:29:25 GMT

Chocolate and head and porn

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 01:11:43 GMT

Today I discovered the best way I've ever found to get rid of the taste of cum. Chocolate! Why didn't I think of that before? In the past, I've tried water, milk, Pepsi and other pops, juice, toothpaste... None of them really worked. But chocolate is like magic. And also yummy.

blinkandmissit read me hot gay porn while I gave head. Apparently I did my best work during the kinkiest parts of the story, which is funny because those were the times when I was paying the least attention to what I was doing. Interesting.

Leash

Fri, 23 Jan 2004 06:31:28 GMT

We bought a leash and collar today. From a pet store, heh. Cheap yet functional. This purchase was inspired by something another LJ user said. She apparently is a sub for the entire time she's wearing her collar. It goes on, the game starts. We're gonna try that out for a while.

Tonight, as part of the game, he had me take a crap with him in the room, holding onto the leash. Embarrassing, but interesting. This will take more experimentation before I can properly review it.

Whipping and bondage

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 20:24:25 GMT

Yesterday after work I went to a sex shop to buy some toys. A "Japanese love rope" which makes it easy to tie up two or four limbs, and a whip with lots of narrow rubber strands. Oh, and that fetish list I made recently, where I said I wouldn't want to be a sub? Yeah, I'll have to go edit that some time.

After I got home, my husband blinkandmissit kept smacking me with the whip while I was cooking supper. I already knew I liked being smacked on the ass, but this rubber thing made it feel better. More spread out, and somehow more forceful and less stinging at the same time. And I also learned that being smacked on the pussy makes me wet. It gets the blood going and makes me feel hard.

The first thing we did when we got into bed was get me tied up. He arranged me so I had my hands tied together, and the rope went through some bars in the headboard and then down to my feet, which were also tied together. I was facing the headboard and he was behind me. He whipped me lightly at first and I liked it. We had agreed I couldn't use the safety word unless I was in real danger, so I tried not to complain too much. He focused on my ass at the beginning and hit me harder and harder. The more he concentrated on one spot the more it stung.

Eventually he reached through my legs to rub my pussy for the first time that night. Normally I push his hands away and insist he be gentle, but my hands were tied up, I couldn't fight him off, and he told me "bad slave, no complaining." I twisted around and couldn't keep from making gaspy moany noises, but very soon the forceful rubbing became good, and he whipped me while he did it. I squeezed my pussy as much as I could, trying to cum, but I was helpless and couldn't do anything to pleasure myself. It was very intense and only served to work me up more.

Afterward I was untied and told to lie still without moving of my own free will. He whipped my back and my ass. (I loved it on the top part of my back. It felt like being kicked or punched. It was like being in a fight without being in any danger.) I laid still and took it, and he told me to roll over. He whipped my breasts and my pussy, more lightly now. We did other things, like him making me say I want to get fucked by a gay guy.

But the best game was when I stood before the end of the bed and bent over while he whipped me back and ass and instructed me not to make any sound. I loved it. It was like being outside myself. It was like concentrating on being silent dulled the pain. He told me to make as much noise as I could while he whipped me, and I moaned and gasped like I was orgasming. He rubbed my clit more and I came all over my legs and the floor. He fucked me quickly from behind and came into me, and when I stood up I squirted both our cum onto the floor.

Later, after talking and working and getting ready for bed, we fucked again, and I came onto his cock, and him stroking my reddened back felt amazing. I can't wait to do it all again.

Edit: Oh yeah, and at one point I started to cry from pain and being ordered around. He held me and petted my hair and told me it's ok. I like the comforting part, and letting myself cry is probably good for a stressy person like me. It was an interesting interlude, but I don't think I'll ever see crying as the goal of the sub experience.

My husband's journal

Mon, 19 Jan 2004 19:40:11 GMT

My husband has a new smut journal! blinkandmissit

So now I get to call him something other than "my husband" all the time. =) Hmm, what do you think: Blinky or Missy? ;P

Last night he wanted me to be in control. I had trouble getting into it until he turned out the light and told me to be Spike. We pretended I was Spike and he was Andrew, and I was raping him kinda and biting him. He squirmed and slapped at me and said "No, stop, please, don't..." He did really well. I ended up scratching him and licking him and pinning his wrists down.

Afterward:
Me: I think I have chest hair in my mouth... [while putting my fingers in my mouth to get the hair out]
Him: That's what you get for being a dom.

Sex is fun. =)

New friends

Mon, 19 Jan 2004 01:40:29 GMT

Wow. 54 people have friended me since I last checked. o_O I feel so... unworthy. Why don't you guys introduce yourselves? I only recognized like five of the names.

How about this for a start? It's similar to something I saw on another journal recently:

Age
Gender
Orientation
Relationship status
Interesting fetishes
How you found my journal
The first post you saw that peaked your interest
What posts do you like best? (photos, gay boy fantasies, etc)
What do you like the least?
Other comments

Btw, these are optional questions. You can answer some without answering others. =)

Photos: Hickey and panties

Sun, 18 Jan 2004 08:04:49 GMT

My husband gave me a monster hickey this week.

He said it looked like on this one episode of Star Trek where there were people with mouths in their necks that turned out to be parasites or something.

While I had the camera out, I thought I'd photograph my panties. But I should warn you: I gained weight over the holidays, so if you only like really skinny girls, you should probably just like, not click.

So... fingering my husband seems to get easier every time. I guess he's less tense. Plus I go straight for his prostate now, because I know where it is. It makes him cum longer, and moan and gasp in such nice ways. Maybe I'll go into more detail when I'm feeling more coherent. Sleep now.

Fetish list

Mon, 12 Jan 2004 03:24:50 GMT

I'll probably add to this list if/when I think of anything else. (I was able to think of a few other fetishes, but left them off the list since I really have no interest in doing them. Things like incest and fisting/footing and pain.)

Things I wouldn't do (ie. things that seem kinky in my head but probably wouldn't really be any fun)
Being shit on/shitting on someone else (Not in the mouth though, 'cause ew)
Fucking an animal
Sex in front of an unsuspecting public audience
Raping someone
Giving someone a super strong aphrodisiac so they'll have no choice but to want to fuck me
~~Being a sub to a dom (I'm bad with extreme pain)~~

Things I've done
Piss play (But not in the mouth)
Anal (me on the bottom)
Bondage (Just being tied to the bed, nothing major)

Things I'd like to do
A threesome
Fucking a girl
Anal (me on top with a strap on)
Fucking a guy who's wearing drag
Getting with someone who thinks I'm a guy (not sure how I could pull this off exactly...)

Comments, old photos, strap on

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 20:34:18 GMT

I have been seriously neglecting this journal. If you made a post you particularly wanted me to see, feel free to link me to it.

To all the people who have commented to me who I haven't replied to: Thanks a lot, I always appreciate it.
To everyone who replied about animals having periods: Thanks for the info, and also ew.
Solobliss: No, I haven't tasted cum that tasted good, but I'm sure there is some out there that does.

The exhibition community was deleted! I think I knew about this quite a while ago, but it only just occurred to me that this means all the wonderful comments I received there are gone. T_T So to make up for it, here are links to those same pictures again. =/

My naked body from above: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dirdylilsecret/347.html
Icon pic, and me pulling my pants off: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dirdylilsecret/745.html
My breast: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dirdylilsecret/915.html
Corset: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dirdylilsecret/10895.html
Corset, masturbating, etc: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dirdylilsecret/11119.html

My husband is getting me a strap on dildo and harness for a late Christmas present as soon as we can afford it (probably at the end of the month). I can not wait. You should definitely expect photos and stories when I get it. Oh man that will be hot.

Oh, and Jane, my internet girlfriend. I've talked to her on the phone a few times. Now if only I had the guts to initiate phone sex.

Sucking cock like a gay guy

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 02:03:10 GMT

I sucked my husband's cock at the dinner table. It doesn't take much to convince me. He just has to call me a man's name. "Wanna suck my cock Andrew?" And instantly I'm on my knees.

While I was sucking him, he kept saying things like "Oh god I love you Andrew." And afterward: "That was good. You are so good at that. Good like a gay guy in fact." Heh. It made me laugh.

It didn't taste good, so he said "If you had a cock, I was totally swallow your cum in return." Isn't he so cool?

Jane sex dream

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 06:09:43 GMT

By the way, I had a hot dream the other night.

Me, my husband, Jane, her fiance, and two people I met last month (a skinny gothy guy and a cute cute girl with pigtails) were all in a hotel and were going to have an orgy. I was making out with the girl with pigtails, straddling her, and I either pissed on her or came on her, maybe both. For some reason everyone left at one point except Jane. Oh man...

Ok, so, she was naked, I probably was too, and for once I was actually myself (female and everything) in this dream. I wanted to go down on her but she was nervous. Her pussy was shaved. She spread her lips, laughing, to show me her clit. I forget why.

I touched her sides, her breasts, her hips, and then I got to finger her. It was soft and wet and tight; it felt like when I finger myself. I stroked inside her and she writhed around, eyes closed, head back, looking for something to grab onto with her fists. She closed her legs around my arm and squeezed my finger and arched her back -

Flash to a little while later. Everyone was back, and talking about fetishes. Gothy Guy ruined the mood by talking about the last time he did scat stuff and all the things that went wrong.

But the fingering scene stayed with me, and I couldn't stop thinking about Jane all day. Why does she live so far away?

Weird random thought

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 22:58:52 GMT

Do other animals have periods?

Masturbation survey

Sat, 22 Nov 2003 06:43:34 GMT

For want of content, here's a masturbation survey from smutprincess.

1) On an average, how many times a week do you masturbate?

Sometimes once a day, although last Sunday I did it three or four times. Some days I don't masturbate at all, and some days I get laid. I'd say seven times a week maybe?

2) What method and/or tools do you find most effective?

Usually I just rub my clit. Sometimes I use a dildo (not vibrating) and sometimes I stick my fingers in my pussy. I used to like sticking a toothbrush in my ass, but not so much anymore. Also, sometimes just having a dildo inside and humping a pillow is fun.

3) What is in your mind, behind closed eyes, as you attempt masturbation (images of men/women, circumstances, the vagueness of sensations ~ what do you concentrate on to arrive)?

Orgies, basically. It usually starts with two or three guys fucking, or maybe a guy and a girl. Usually at least one person is going against their usual sexual orientation (a straight guy with a guy, or a gay guy with a girl) to add to the awkwardness and insecurity. Sometimes there's a magic spell or something to make people unbearably horny in public, and start fucking or masturbating as secretly as possible, with people around. The closer I get to orgasm, the more people get involved. People walk in on the pair/threesome and get instantly horny and join in. Sometimes a young girl starts molesting an older man. And by the time I'm finished, nothing really makes much sense anymore.

4) When masturbating, what is a reasonable time frame from start to initial climax?

Twenty minutes to an hour.

5) How many orgasms, during masturbation or copulation, do you have on average per session and are they similar to one and another or do they change in intensity from one to the next?

Two to three. Usually the first one is the most intense, and the other(s) serve to wind me down and make my clit more comfortable.

6) How long do your orgasms usually last (per individual climax)?

A minute?

7) What is the biggest mistake males (or females) make when they are performing cunnilingus (and please, be specific about what to improve)?

Starting off too fast and getting worn out before the good bit. Biting/sucking instead of just rubbing/lapping.

8) What do you consider to be the biggest flaw on your body?

My thighs. I'd like them thinner.

9) Have you ever faked it? If so, or if not, why?

Yes, to make my husband hornier.

Edit: Ok, not so much orgasm, as just being extra noisy.

10) Do you imagine your significant other’s male friends naked or simply fantasize about them?

No. Except for this one quiet geeky ex-coworker, with the beautiful long black hair. I used to imagine him with his friend, a spiky-haired, extroverted bisexual who wore drag sometimes. ignacio reminds me of the coworker, visually.

11) Do you enjoy watching a man pleasure himself?

Yeah

12) What sort of erotica do you use when attempting to become excited?

Literary. I like to read about guys fucking, especially guys from Buffy.

13) Do you honestly want to have, or have you had, phone sex or cybersex? And why does this appeal if applicable?

I like cybersex. I get to talk smut with cute girls without doing anything dangerous relationship or health-wise. My husband doesn't consider it cheating. And damn it gets me worked up sometimes.